toxic
by LovelyLivvy112
Summary: A look at Roxanne Weasley as she goes to Hogwarts.


Red hair

The one thing that shows that the world that you are a Weasley, you don't have. It's not just that your hair is a couple shades too dark. You hate it. You envy your brother who has it. You want to change it but you just can't. You have brown hair just like your mom's. You have no freckles. You wonder if anyone would know if you're part Weasley if you weren't around your parents or your brother or cousins. It's then you realize that you're not quite like the others.

Outcast

That's what you know you are, At least in your family. It's more than not having the Weasley hair. Most of your cousins and your brother are whizzing around on brooms, pretending that they're famous quidditch players. You would rather hang back with Victoire. When you're nine years you'll discover painting. You'll get lost in the world of colors, and lines. Then you'll really become an outcast but you'll embrace it.

Painting

You do in secret. It's your version of a diary. In your room they are what seem like hundreds of canvases. Even though you know there is less. It just makes you feel so free. You paint your dad with a smile wanting to see at least once even if it's painted. You paint uncle harry. You even paint Rose. You paint when you're sad or angry or happy. You paint all the time. You don't get any lessons. You just try to learn it all on your own. You don't tell anyone your secret because this, this is your own thing. That no one can take away from you.

Rose

or as you have come to think of her as the perfect Weasley. She has the red hair, the hair that you used to be. It's not just the red hair that makes her the perfect Weasley in your mind. She's the one who everyone seems to pay attention to. She's obsessed with quiditch. She's good at it too. Your dad's eyes light up whenever he sees her play probably remembering when he was on a team. You wish you could make your dad's eyes light up like that.

Family

You realize that it's going to be hard for you to break out from your family's shadow. Your dad owned a successful joke shop that everybody seems to remember, Zonko's or something like that you think it was called. He later sold it. Your mom is a damn good quidditch player. Both of them were involved in the seconding wizarding war. Your uncle is the chosen one, the man who defeated Voldemort. Your aunt is the brightest witch of her ago. You're related to the "Golden trio". You don't want to be the daughter of Fred or Angelina Weasley. You also don't want to be the niece of the chosen one or anything like that. You just want to be Roxanne.

Change

The day finally arrives. You've been looking forward since you've gotten your letter. You're about to be on the train to Hogwarts. You realize that you've been looking forward to this day. This is the day that you can finally change. You decide to change your name, nothing major just getting a nickname. That's an easy way to cast away the old you and become someone new. You think about going as an Ann but that sounds too girly and that's certainly not you. Roxy, you like the sound of that. You like how it sounds like toxic. It fits you. You're tough, and strong, but also clever very clever. Even though people think that Rose is the clever one. You decided not to sit with your cousins. You don't need them. You sit with a boy named Scorpius. He has a weird name but not as weird as Uncle Harry's kids.

Connection

That's what you think you have with this Scorpius kid. You and him have a lot of things in common. He tells you that his dad was in the second wizarding war too. You make a note to ask your mom if she knows anyone that has a kid of Scorpius. You don't dare talk about it with your dad. He gets too sad and starts to cry whenever your mom briefly mentions it. Plus there's this little though in the back of your brain that says it's fate that you two sat next to each other. It sounds silly and you won't tell anyone that you thought it but secretly you agree with that thought.

Choice

You go up to the sorting hat. You're nervous of course you are. You're scared that you'll be in Gryffindor. You don't want to be another chapter in the long story of your family's legacy. You want to start your own legacy. You look at the Gryffindor table where most of cousins are. They wave. An old woman with spectacles calls your name. You go up to the hat confidently. She puts the hat on your head.

"Another Weasley. I thought I was done with you all." The hat snarked.

You give a little gasp because you didn't think the hat could talk.

"Hmm this interesting. You should be in Gryffindor but you'll do well in Ravenclaw too."

Ravenclaw please put me in Ravenclaw you chant in your head.

"Are you sure?" the hat asks

You nod.

"Ravenclaw." The hat belts out.

Disappointment

You see it in their faces. Even the old witch who put the hat on you looks disappointed. In their mind there was no question of what house you be in. You act like you are too. Even though secretly you are ecstatic. People at the Ravenclaw seem happy enough to see you but you know they're wondering why you're there. You ignore them. You watch the sorting and hope that the Scorpius kid you met on the train will be in the same house as you are. He doesn't there. He goes into Gryffindor. He looks as surprised as you do when you realize that he's a malfoy. You now realize what he meant when he said that he'd probably be in Slytherin.

Friends

That's what you and Scorpius become. You don't let the fact that both of them are in different houses or the fact that he's a Malfoy and you're a Weasley stop you from becoming friends. It's a good thing you didn't because you two have a lot in common. You were right when you thought that you and him had a connection. He becomes your best friend. He's who you spend all your time with. Sure, you still talk to your cousins but you much rather talk to him.

Pretty

You've never liked the word even when you were five years old. It sounds like something that would describe a flower. Although when Scorpius when called you it in your second year of school. When you decide to put on the makeup that Victoire sends you and you do your hair up nice instead of in a ponytail You suddenly liked the way it sounds. Although when that Mclaggen calls you pretty when you leave class. It leaves a bitter taste in your mouth. It makes you feel disgusting.

Mclaggen

After he calls you pretty, he asks you out. You agree. You don't know why. He annoys you but then again he does make you laugh. You go out with a date with him, then another, then another. Then eventually he calls you his girlfriend and says that you're dating. You go along with it even though you don't love him. In fact you want to punch him most of the time. Mclaggen thankfully is just a brief chapter in your life. Turns out he was just using you to make this girl that he looks jealous.

Scorpius

He's the only constant in your life, ever since the first day of school to now your third year of school. There's something else though. Whatever you were suppose to feel for Mclaggen you feel for Scorpius. He's the only person who runs through your mind all day and night. You wonder if he likes you too. He's the only one who warned you about how big of a tool Mclaggen is. You can say that he's just being a good friend but you saw that look he gave you when you told him you started going out with him. He looked almost hurt. Plus when you told him that Mclaggen was using you. He let you cry on your shoulder. The next day he had a black eye and you knew you just knew that Scorpius was behind it. Sometimes he looks as if he's going to ask you an important question. Then someone interrupts and just needs to talk to you. You tell them to hang on a sec but then Scorpius walks away.

Finally

He asked you out! Nobody interrupted you. He almost walked away because you were shocked. You thought that he likes you like that but it's still weird to know that someone likes you that you like. You were mute because you were so shocked. He started to walk away because he thought that he rejected you. Thank god you caught up with him and explained to him that you were just surprised that's all. You make plans to go out to the three broomsticks when you can finally go to Hogsmeade.

Hogsmeade

You're finally here at hogsmeade. with Scorpius. You're nervous. You have no clue what to do. Things wouldn't be this weird if you two were just friends. Maybe you made a mistake going on a date with him. No stop thinking like that you order yourself. You pass by the old joke shop the father used to own. It hasn't been converted. Another family simply owned it. You stare at it for a second thinking about how nice it must've looked. The joy your father must've got from it. You want to go into it but then you decide not to. It would probably just hurt. Plus it's weird picturing your father whose sad all the time in such a bright and cheerful place. You turn away from it you don't want to think about it while you're on a date with Scorpius. When Scorpius wonders what the building is. You ignore him. You figure he'll get the hint that you don't want to talk about it. You go to three broomsticks. He opens the door like a real gentleman. Conversation is awkward at first then it flows once the butterbeer comes. You realize that you haven't made a mistake.

Boyfriend

That's what Scorpius is now. That's at what at least what people say to refer Scorpius. He takes you on dates and kisses you. He's the person that you tell all your secrets too. You want him to be your boyfriend so badly. So you casually remark that people are saying that people are saying that you're boyfriend and girlfriend. He says "Well aren't we?" and you say of course and then you kiss him. Secretly glad that you're officially

Toxic

That's what he said when he breaks up with you three weeks later and you ask why he's breaking up with you. "You're just so toxic, Roxy." He said walking away. You think about how on the Hogwarts train you liked how the word toxic sort of kind of rhymed with Roxy. Now you hate it. You're not toxic. You're not even fierce anymore. You're just very sad like your dad. You want to curl up into a little ball and just cry your heart out. You wait until you get into your room. The people who have beds next to you don't bother you.

Grey

That's what you see all the time now. You used to see color everywhere. Colors that have names and ones that don't. You used to think that you're the younger female version of Van Gogh. You're not trying to be prideful. You just notice that your paintings end up looking kind of like his even before you knew who van Gogh was. Scorpius took away all your colors, all of them. At least that's the only explanation that you can come up with you.

Him

He still crosses your mind from time to time. You want to talk to him so badly. It's not because he's your ex-boyfriend. It's because he used to be your friend. You want your friend back so badly. He doesn't want you back, not even as a friend. You've tried to say hi to him. He just ignores you. That hurts more than him calling you toxic.

Change part two

You change your name once again. If changing your name to roxy made you toxic that maybe going by Annie will make you less toxic. It might even make you kind of nice possibly. Then Scorpius will want to go out with you again. Even though you hate the name Annie and how it makes you sound girly. You start going by it. You correct everyone who calls you Roxy.

Betrayal

Rose is dating Scorpius? You find out one day when you're walking to your classes and they're holding hands. How could she? She knows that he broke up with you. She may not know that you're still not over him and you not be that close to her. She's family though. She should know that you shouldn't date your cousin ex-boyfriend no matter how hot and smart he is. You run away from that. If you can't see it. It's not real right? Right. You crash into a guy. You don't even bother seeing who you bumped into you just keep running throwing a muttered apology to only have a few more weeks till Christmas vacation.

Sanctuary

That's what the burrow is. It smells like everything nice and nothing bad could possibly happen right? Everybody's happy even your father which is somewhat of a miracle. You have a sip of butterbeer. You look to see if Uncle Harry and Aunt Ginny are coming. That's when you see him accompanied by Rose or as you like call her the traitor. At first people stare at him because he's a Malfoy after all. Then Uncle Ron says hi to him. Everybody seems to be okay with him after that except your father and it seems Uncle Harry who looks like he wants to kill him. You hear Aunt Ginny trying to calm him down something about how Scorpius isn't his father. You avoid **them **as much as you possibly can. They violated your one safe place. You can't wait to go back to school now.

Tutor

You get assigned a tutor since you're failing charms which was once your favorite class. You agree to meet him in the library. The charms professor said his name was Lorcan Lovegood. That name rings a bell but you definitely remember someone with a name that bad. You wait a table closest to the entrance. Then this guy from Hufflepuff black hair and bright blue eyes walks in. Not bad you think for a Hufflepuff. He scans the library looking for someone, probably his girlfriend you think even though all the other tables are empty. He walks over to your table and pulls a chair.

"You're Roxanne Weasley right?" He asks

"Annie." You say correcting him

"Right, well it's glad to finally put a name to a face." He said

"Do I know you?" You ask confused

"You ran into once." He explained

"Oh right sorry about that." You say

"It's okay. You seemed upset." He said "Let's focus on charms. So what don't you get?"

You're thankful that he doesn't ask you why you were upset. You hate it when people pry into your personal info.

Colors

You don't know why but after awhile you start seeing colors again. Things are no longer shades of gray. Things are bright and you paint again. Maybe it has something to do with Lorcan you wonder. You dismiss it. Lorcan is a cool dude and he makes you laugh. He just probably doesn't like you like that. For some reason that makes you sad. For some reason you want him to like in that way.

Date

You were wrong. He does like you. You're in the middle of a lesson. Then out of nowhere he casually asked you if you want to go out. It was so unlike the way **he **asked you out. He just casually asked you out in the middle of a lesson and of course you said yes. Then when the time comes around for you two to actually go out on your date. He doesn't bother to take to Hogsmeade. He takes you to this place that it seems that no one knows about. You can't even remember the name of it. It was really good and you talked and you talked. He made you laugh. You wonder why you ever sad about Scorpius. This guy is obviously so much better. He doesn't ask you any questions about your family. He asks questions about you and you only. You are not a Weasley. You are just Annie to him.

Lorcan

Lorcan makes you happy. That isn't to say if you don't have your fights with him because you do and their explosive but then you make up. You realize that your art has never looked better. You date all throughout Hogwarts. Then one day it seems out of the blue. He pops the question and of course you say yes. Everyone attends the wedding even **them. **You don't give them any attention though because obviously with a much better guy. Plus they both deserve each other you think. As you're getting married. You realize that you are no longer toxic like you were told that horrible after the wedding you will go back tobeing called Roxy. It's a change for everybody but they accept even Lorcan. Everything ends happily for you. Which you never excepted. When you have little children of your own. You will tell them all of this. So they will learn that they are never toxic or an outcast. They're perfect just like you.


End file.
